Last Minute Reflections

I carry with me a small journal. My intentions were to fill it with life-changing accounts and adventures and other unbelievable experiences from this journey. Now I'm at the last leg of my journey and barely a quarter is used. This is not to say that there have been few things to write about or that I couldn’t think of anything to put down through the course of my time through Rajasthan and Gujarat. It's that this trip has been so busy and exhausting that I couldn’t find much time to write –either in the notebook or this blog. So instead I have been using the journal as a notepad. There are addresses, phone numbers, Hindi and Gujarati phrases, recipes, pressed flowers, a peacock feather or two, some notes about things I should write about when I get the chance, interesting or funny quotes from signs I’ve encountered along the way… The list goes on. But there are no journal entries.
It has been a little over a month away from home and I’ve decided it’s time for me to go back. There is so much to experience in India and in the rest of the world but at this point in my life I need to focus on academic work so the next time I land somewhere amazing I’ll be better prepared to work for the better good. And on the selfish side of things I miss my family and loved-ones. It’s an understatement to say that I’m in over my head here. As the poetry of Kabir and verse of the Bhagavad Gita only barely scratch the surface of the beauty of this country the images from the movie, Slumdog Millionaire don’t begin to describe the hardships. It seems like everything here is done to the extreme. Opulence, squalor. Obesity, emaciation. Fragrance, stench. Words are ill equipped to convey the ways in which Indian life differs from the life I’m used to living in New York. And as I’m sitting here ready to leave for home I know that I would if given the change return in a heartbeat. I, along with my friends from the Group Study Exchange that brought me here have often wondered how it is and why any of us could be as fortunate as we are. Fortunate to be here in India, fortunate to have met so many amazing people along the way, fortunate to be able to return to the Hudson Valley once it’s all over.
The organization that sent me here, The Rotary International, perplexes me. At times it seems clear to me that every member of the organization is a living saint. Their motto is "Service above self." And so many members often seem selfless and wise beyond explanation. The Rotary engages in projects that provides clean water to communities where the water is so polluted. They set up schools where children would never otherwise learn to read. They set up free heart, and eye clinics. They work tirelessly to put an end to polio through vaccinating children free of cost. And many other projects too. But some are more interested in helping people than others. At times Rotary members seem like pseudophilanthropic missionaries of idealistic western naiveté. From what I have seen, many of them spend so much more time socializing, taking photos of each other, and spending money to pat each other on the back than they do actually performing service above self. But I have only a small picture of the grand scheme of things. Their goals are spelled out in something they call the “Four Way Test.”-Is it the truth? –Is it fair to all concerned? –Will it build good will and better friendships? and –Will it be beneficial to all concerned? are the questions they ask themselves. Many Rotarians that I’ve encountered have a hard time remembering all four. Again, though, this is by and large –a wonderful group of people. My official capacity here is to work as a cultural ambassador between nations, teach my contemporaries what I can about my line of work in the Hudson Valley, and learn from them about the same work in the cities and towns I visit. It is true that I have learned a lot and even taught some too.
I hope I have done something to promote diplomatic and cultural exchange in a war-torn world. But I would be lying if I wrote that I felt like I have gained a better understanding of the world we live in.I have had so many life-changing experiences while over here that I don’t know who I am any more. My goals in life have shifted. My perception of the world around me has been blurred. The scenes around me are often reminiscent of scenes from a Star Wars movie. Large and unusual animals everywhere, unfamiliar languages in the background, incomprehensible music on the radios, completely different perceptions of personal space… and still the people here are so much like us. There are the people that do what they can to make a living. People that worry about what others think about them. People that fear about the future. People that pray for the end to suffering. People that don’t understand why the people in other countries are so uncivilized.
Because I grew up alongside and have become close with many Indian-Americans I have allowed myself to walk into this experience thinking that I knew what I was in for. At best I was better prepared to understand some customs and I had a handle on a few key phrases that proved useful throughout the travels. I knew what food I liked and didn’t like. I could get out of sticky situations by dazzling people with my faux knowledge of Bollywood songs. I am not an expert on Indian culture, languages, history, religions, or anything. In fact, my eyes have also opened to the fact that I am not an expert in any topic. And I doubt I’ll ever be. There’s just too much to learn.
And I want to end with a happy note. A few nights ago I went to see a movie in Ahmedabad -the largest city of Gujarat. While there I lost my cell phone. A man named Hardik Pathak found my phone, and cared enough to try to call somebody to locate me and return it to me. When that didn't work -he found my email address so he could return my phone to me. Pretty awesome, eh?